(Source: lunarynth, via alluringlyinsanemydear)
my uncle used to be one of those people who drove dead people to cemeteries and such
then he became a taxi driver and the person he was driving tapped his shoulder to ask a question and my uncle screamed really loud
(via nicole01)
perks of dating an older guy: the sex is better, the sex is amazing, oh yeah and the sex is pretty good
why is “fuck you” an insult like hell yea fuck me fuck me hard
(Source: slydigger, via earthbourne)
update:
-everything was perfect and now I don’t even know where we stand
-I regret drunk texting you, however telling you this morning that I’m dating someone was the best feeling in the world
- I work so much I might as well move in there
- I need new clothes but don’t have time to buy them
- I miss my dad
- I drink way too much
- I haven’t been laid in a week and it’s annoying
- Netflix has shit movies
- I haven’t eaten more than three meals in the past four days
- I can’t wait to go visit my dad
- My next paycheck will be $800
- The new guy at work smells really bad
- I’m drunk
